Walking with my mom


It’s wild to think that this April it will be 7 years since my mom’s death.  It still takes my breath away. She died at the age of 69 after 2 years of chemotherapy for ovarian cancer. And I know people say it gets easier with time, but easier how? I took “easier” to mean that I wouldn’t think of her as much as the years go by, and that never seemed to sit well with me.
In fact, thinking about her less hasn’t been the case at all. I think of her more so now than ever. It’s funny where you find comfort. This simple native american phrase has stuck with me and continues to bring me peace:  



And here’s why.


Mothers give us life. They nurture and protect and provide us with food.  Mothers have the power to heal; with a touch, a look, a hug or a kiss. Mothers are magic. When we lose our mother we lose our anchor. It’s like the earth suddenly gets ripped away from under your feet. You lose your balance. You lose your footing. You lose your cheerleader. The world that you’ve always known and trusted has forever changed.
It isn’t a coincidence that the earth is also described as a mother.  She provides us with food, water, oxygen, shelter, and medicine. The earth is a living entity. The earth is our home.

Like mother earth, father sky has an important role in our life too. Father’s are our guides and teachers. They provide us shelter and keep us safe. I envision father sky like a huge umbrella that keeps us dry and safe throughout life.  Father’s have a presence you can always count on. I’m fortunate to still have my father in my life but when it is his time to leave the earth I imagine it will feel like the umbrella being blown away during a storm. The shelter and protection that you have always known in your life will be temporarily lost.


We are born 2 times in our life; once when our mother gives birth to us and the second time when our mother dies.  This saying sums it all up for me.

But here’s the thing, losing your balance and footing is part of the experience and it’s just temporary.

It takes time and a bunch of practice to remember that you have everything you need to get your balance back and to regain your footing, in fact, you’ve always had it. Like Glenda, The Good Witch said: “You had the power all along my dear.”

Now, I find myself walking in the woods, a lot. It’s where I feel my mom’s presence the most.
She is with the trees, in the sunshine, in the bird’s songs, in the dirt path, in the fallen pine needles and in the wild grasses. I find her in the quiet of nature. She is everywhere.